Marilyn's iambic white dress

Blood - a great retreat - it is when the words

desire their own body - and chase me into a

girl child's morning - they suspect I am not to

be trusted at the moment - every part of my

whole is protecting something - She is speaking

and won't let me hear one word - I think it's

because she is the story - the one worth

telling - I am prepared to speak and yet

without her I know - I know - I write the same

desire over and over - this is mother girl

child morning in the act of writing - the claws

must come out



It sure ain't the mirror where my face appears -

that's only where I fall in love and see all of

you - Blood!!! - I am feeling better - it's

word choice that frightens me - language a new

face - bring me home - a mirror image - the

most tiny memory of now - paper writing reveals

more than glass


- Opportunity - Invention - Choice


- who is dying when it is so difficult to write

a choice - Well I have decided to enjoy it -

certainly a hiding - and I'll tell you why -

because she is absolutely free - free of word

meaning and free of healing process - Ever

since the phone calls from Mother who is staying


with Grandmother who is for the first time in

95 years going to hospital - she tells everyone

she meets - "I won't be here much longer" - her

surrender is only possible because of her will -

yesterday blood was normal - last night

emergency room - This is what it is to mistake

freedom for word blockage - She who writes is

protecting this essence - Grace with Ease -

that's my legacy -

Blood - so much blood - enough to swim - to quench thirst with tiny drops - to cut myself open and part my lips just so - like I would in a mirror

I see now that the whole essay can and will be rearranged at some point - because she speaks like that and I listen different when I write


We can wait for the words we will invent - I

have never been this still - looking now and

deciding without knowing it - how I will be

Grandmother - one is choice always - She would

like to tell the story of refusing anything

other than blood and first eyes - My

Grandmother is informing the stories I might

tell you - Death and sadness and blood and

rebirth have trained women forever - She is

made visible to my language with choice - and

it is possible to dance specific instruction

with an infinite coming through - like stars

perhaps by the time you see your word I am gone


One experience is looking at the function of

language and words - discourse - as a whole and

the same experience being with words and your

body and inner dialogue - as a whole - a break

is clawing a way to communicate in the interest

of something it has never experienced - or

wanted - the books are converging and paintings

speak each other


When Celine left the hospital they stopped

washing their hands - that's what I remember -

This is the food I give her - All I need to

know about Rimbaud is our river away from words -

I our - that desire informs memory - What I

keep from this Grandmother time might depend on

my courage to be what I don't know - I want to


tell you something beautiful at the agreement -

everything you value has just enough unity to

appear different - in the end all detective

stroies start from the beginning - imagination

gave choice to death - Blood!!! Human light

and wind - my eyes and all I really hear - when

all is silent - because I prefer mystery - I

disagree with so may filler-words - doubt -

connect words

- Speak command - use blood - make something happen - tell me only your untellable story - I will do the same - I don't believe you -

- Again -

- Be your untellabe story and our hiding places

die new dreams - There never was a hiding

rather a refusal to be lied too - She continues

to talk - I hear now similar language -

something - Once before at the end of a play -

everything changed possible - a witness is more

powerful than a wish - outside of the theatre

gray air cement parking burned out apartment

buildings use to be use to be use to be - and

more than that - not a word about the play - I

think a child must become a character in a play

for days - transform clapping - I will

recognize you again because of this goodbye




Fork